Hysterectomy Recovery: 1 Month(ish)

As of Monday (yesterday, Nov 10), it has been 4 weeks since my surgery. Technically the 1-month mark will be Thursday, Nov 13, hence the title "1 Month(ish)".

AND THEN - Nov 19 marks 6 months since the first surgery. So if anyone else is experiencing time collapse like I am, all of these dates and markers make me feel completely delusional. I didn't even experience the year that is 2025. It's really bizarre. I went on one of the BEST trips I'll probably ever have (Denver in June) but also 2 of the most traumatic surgeries I'll hopefully ever have, as well. I think this year has been some of the highest highs and lowest lows I've ever experienced in my life. All just to say these comparison/journey photos really help me along mentally.

It's so clear to me that the swelling is going down but in real life, it all feels the same still. My belly-button incision still hurts relatively badly to the touch and internally. I'm trying to be a little more mobile around the house to see if I can manage that but I am STILL struggling to even have thin lounge pants touching that area. I need to get back to work soon and unfortunately, those pants will not do; it's not summertime anymore. So I'm stressing a little on that. I'm currently trying out some compression hysterectomy/c-section underwear and so far so good, even though the skin/incision itself is unhappy. I can feel the soreness underneath it all. But I have to try something and have some progress soon. I can't afford to stay on this recovery vacay, plain and simple.

I did manage to do about 30 minutes of pelvic floor-specific yoga yesterday. It was difficult at times but I don't feel worse off today for it and that's a huge win.

I'm mentally trying to lock in a bit more, as opposed to watching media all day. I think it helps my brain fog lift quite a bit. But physically, I'm still in bed most of the time.

Yesterday, for the first time, I spent the majority of the day downstairs. I came back up just for 2 hours before dinner because I got tired of appeasing my bladder. But other than that, I went downstairs for lunch, stayed there til 4pm, went back down for dinner around 6pm and stayed down there until around 9pm. Even though that's only really a handful of hours, IT'S PROGRESS. It's a win even though it just means I went up and down the stairs maybe 6 times yesterday.

My scars are finally looking more normal(?) in my opinion... Not quite so puffy and red. All of them but the center one are feeling nearly like they did prior to this second surgery. Again, a win I will take! I took this picture yesterday, as I was going to try to blog then but the day got away from me. Whoops.

It's also good for me to compare older recovery photos so I can see the progress there as well. On the left is a few days short of 5 months after first surgery, the morning of my second surgery. On the right is today, a few days short of 6 months since the first surgery as well as a few days short of 1 month after the second. Time is weird.

I can see I'm nearly to where I had progressed to in 5 months after that surgery in only 1 month. Sure, I'm a little more swollen still but I'm so happy to see what is reflected here. My organs are really doing their best to get back into the swing of things and I KNOW it's because I've given my entire being to only resting for weeks on end. I'm so grateful y'all helped me even kind of manage to do that. Taking roughly 3 months off in a year is not normal but it's been totally necessary. (I say 3 months because it was about 1.5 off the first time and it'll be about the same this time.) I wouldn't be seeing these kinds of results without this time to recover. Granted, that time is running out but I still cannot imagine being forced back into any type of work feeling this way.

My very first surgery in 2013 had that type of experience... I had taken 2 weeks off from the wedding band because they told me that would be enough time to recover before going back to work. Except my work isn't sitting behind a computer in an office... It was gigging 2-3 times a week for hours at a time with full choreography and being the only female vocalist in a full-time wedding band. So luckily, I was able to find a substitute for the third weekend but that fourth weekend going back was still SO ROUGH. I don't remember a lot from that time as it was a emergency surgery and trauma does weird things to your memory, but I do remember having a lot of abdominal pain after shows. Dancing and singing is NOT easy to after a surgery, let alone both simultaneously. You best believe I'll never make that mistake again and I am happy to report I haven't. It's a little different working entirely for yourself vs. working for a company & corporate band, but still I wish I'd been more firm in my boundaries. I was 24 and had so so so much to learn about myself and other people.

Hell, I'm 36 and have so so so much to learn. But I've learned a whole lot this year about mortality, myself, the people I surround myself with, how I communicate my truths and boundaries, and frankly, I don't have the time or energy to compromise on those things anymore. Knowing what's best for me vs. being able to pay my bills has crippled my mental health and I know I'm not alone on that. I'm trying so hard to be more clear to people about where I'm at on those things and I still struggle to feel I'm being truly heard. I end up getting embarrassingly emotional because I've spent my whole life in survival mode. I would really like to leave this mode at some point soon and I'm just really in a bad way about how the hell I'm going to do that.

No one prepares you for what it's like to not be able-bodied in a capitalist society. And at a young age, I might add. I'm not sick enough to be considered "disabled" but I am certainly not able-bodied and haven't been over about 2 decades. I'm so ready to hopefully have a better time in the next 15-20 years or so before the eventual full hysterectomy might be necessary.

If you're still reading this, thank you for sticking around. Like I said toward the top of this blog, this has been one of the hardest and most polarizing years of my life and I have to take the wins where I can get them. Sometimes that means I had a really good poop (lol) and sometimes that means I got a really high paying gig that I was gunning for. Who knows. All I do know is that I'm really trying to manifest better things for myself that don't force me to compromise my needs so hugely as they have historically. Why is that so hard? In any case, please help me manifest that, too, if you so choose.

<3 E