Endo Excision: Day 78 (3 months on different hormones)

Aug 5, 2025

It's been nearly 2 weeks since I've updated. Last week, I worked 5 days in a row for the first time since my surgery, 3 of those 5 days having spent 6-10 hours at the studio. This type of time away from resting my body is proving to be VERY difficult. I still struggle the movement of being in a car for longer periods of time, although that is getting better. I dread making our way up to Cheboygan, MI, (4 hours one way) on a show day this Saturday. I'm just hoping that if I'm in any pain, Tylenol will do the trick. There's no way in hell that I'm doing a show on Norco! LOL

This week also happens to be totally bonkers in terms of work. I have my regular streams, 3 separate rehearsals at the studio, 6 vocal lessons and I still want to find time to be a part of my monthly tarot class that I've been in since May of 2021. So I've decided to take the hit on income and not stream my usual time on Friday. I'm literally singing 6 days in a row while enduring the worst air quality Detroit has seen in years. This week will be trying but I'm taking extra precaution to rest more next week. Again, I'm taking hits on income but if I am in pain or can't sing comfortably anyway, what's the point of pushing myself that far? Being miserable in a session or on stream is just not the way to go.

In other news, today marks 3 months of being without my last IUD (Liletta) and being on the oral hormone Norethindrone. If you've ever taken a long-term medication, you know that any doctor will say it takes a full 3 months for a drug to settle into your body. So I think these next few weeks will be crucial in paying attention to any changes in my body.

Over the last few weeks alone, I feel like my abdomen is SLOWLY (so incredibly slowly) coming down in swelling and bloat. My doctor did also say this could take 3-4 months. I will hit that 3-month mark in 2 weeks from today when I also happen to go get my post-op ultrasound. I can finally fit into 1 of my pairs of jeans but I can only commit to them for a few hours at a time. So I broke down and bought 3 pairs of bigger pants and shorts for the second time. All of my size 2 and some 4 pants/shorts that I've been unable to wear are now in bags waiting to be donated. It feels great to get them out of my closet but it's also so incredibly depressing.

I need to mention that this isn't just everyday clothing... this is also tons of stage clothing, some of which I never wore or only a few times. Alas, I still have to rebuild both my closet and my mental health.

Last March, when I started noticing changes in my body and my pants no longer fit, I worked really hard at accepting that I needed size 4 pants/shorts and repurchased duplicates of almost everything in my closet. That wasn't too hard, to be honest. But now that I'm here AGAIN, it's even more defeating. And like I said, I've managed to smush into a few pairs of my size 4 denim boyfriend jeans, but most of the size 4 shorts and other more stretchy jeans/jeggings had to go. When trying them on, it's like, how did I ever fit into this??? Let alone the size 2 ones?!??!!? WHO IS SHE?!?!?

Changing clothing sizes for any reason is stressful, but I have to keep reminding myself that having stage 4 endometriosis for years and a frozen pelvis for at least 1 year is inevitably going to result in my hips spreading a lot. I don't think I'll ever be a size 2 again and that's ok. I wasn't a size 2 ever until 2020 when I was finally able to rest and take care of myself properly after working myself into the ground for a decade. It was a solid 3-year run and I'm grateful for that.

Anyway, here is me wearing a new pair of size 6 pants today and even these are on the small side. Bodies are wild, y'all.

Yay, new pants that fit!

In terms of what's next - I am actually still waiting on my hysteroscopy results from July 23. They said it could take up to 2 weeks which will be tomorrow. Once I get those results, we'll be in the process of scheduling my hysterectomy. But that date is also dependent on what Dr. Zaidan says about my ultrasound results in 2 weeks. So the soonest I could possibly schedule the hysterectomy is end of September or early October, but again, we'll see what he says!

If you've made it this far, thank you. I have a lot of big feelings about my body that are hard to process, even if I do talk about them with people. Getting it out this way is hugely therapeutic for me. I appreciate all of you who are paying attention, I truly do.

<3 E