Endo Excision: Day 133 (4.5 months after first surgery)

~ DAYS 'TIL HYSTERECTOMY: 12 ~

Disclaimer: I'm adding photos into this post specifically to show where my body is at currently. I'm not wearing any shapewear under my clothing or being photoshopped to look a certain way. This is my way of acceptance and moving toward body positivity/neutrality.

9-27-25 @ Odd Fellow Concert Lounge (By Lauren Hedges)

I know I've said this about a million times now, or maybe it just feels that way, but it's crazy what the difference is between the functionality of my body at 3 months of recovery vs now at 4.5 months of recovery. I'm not 100% nor will I ever be; endometriosis has no cure. But the way I feel after a gig now compares to how I felt after gigs years ago. I'm absolutely not in shape compared to pre-pandemic me, but I don't feel like I have the flu the day after gigs anymore, which I how I have felt since 2023 doing gigs. And people wonder why I don't want to do shows? 🙃

In any case, I've been doing better and that's so huge. I have to keep telling myself that I'm never going to feel as "ok" as I did when I was around 30. That ship has sailed. My body has changed - ALL of our bodies will change, whether it's due to sickness and/or age - and that's the reality. I am getting better but I'll never be able-bodied.

Something I've noticed that is getting better are my energy levels. I still require 9-10 hours of sleep every night but I don't feel as fatigued most days. Don't get me wrong - I still have severe fatigue some days but it's occurring less often. I lived with that fatigue for YEARS daily, and I'm still realizing just how bad it had gotten. I'd feel dizzy and drunk sometimes trying to get out of bed or up off the couch. Now imagine masking it all and attempting to function that way all the time. It's awful. And it's not normal. But it was my life and I hope it's never my life again.

As for my symptoms, I am still dealing with random bleeding; not a lot but enough to be annoying as hell. I am still dealing with pretty bad abdominal bloating after eating any meal, safe food(s) or not. I am still unable to work a full day without feeling absolutely wrecked by the end of the day... and drinking more caffeine is just never the answer for me. My gut cannot handle that at all. So that's always tough when I end up needing to be functional for 12+ hours. But I push through and then collapse later 😵‍💫

Another photo by Lauren... but this time a candid at their house in Canada.

I'm very much looking forward to getting the hysterectomy in a few weeks. I had my pre-op prep appointment yesterday and it pretty much confirmed a lot of what I have assumed about this surgery based on the last surgery. I know this recovery will be harder in some ways, easier in others, and certainly very different than what I've ever experienced in my life. This is the first time I'm having a major organ removed. It's very common for one's intestines to take a long while to adjust to the new space in the pelvic cavity. This freaks me the hell out but I do know it's normal and very common.

I'm honestly unsure what to expect in terms of length of recovery but I assume at least 4 weeks, like I assumed last time. All the medical restrictions like lifting, showering, etc. are all 2 weeks. So I feel like that a good marker as well. Although, we left for Denver at 5.5 weeks last time and if I could change that, I would. But alas, I knew what I signed up for. I walked nearly 10k steps a day while we were gone and I survived. I still couldn't wear a lot of my clothing which is why y'all saw me wear dresses the entire time we were there. And the shorts I wore under those dresses were recently purchased in a bigger sizes. My abdomen was still SO sensitive. Hell, there are STILL some pieces of clothing I can't wear due to the elastic in the waist band. So I do know I need to be a hair more kind to myself about certain expectations.

At this point, I'm very grateful to say I have a lot of what I need for recovery but if you feel so inclined, here is the list of household stuff we could still stock up on! >> https://throne.com/erin/collections/recovery

If you're still reading, thank you YET AGAIN for riding along on this journey with me. I'm so ready for the next step and then to LITERALLY NOT THINK ABOUT IT AGAIN FOR A LONG TIME! 🤣🤣

<3 E